Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? In this post we’re going to help you identify your self care love language to better take care of and love yourself, with 80+ ways to practice self care based on your love language. 

“Love Languages” refer to the ways that we give and receive love. The concept was first introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” which was published in 1992. The idea of love languages has been around for a while and it’s helpful for us to have a better understanding of ourselves and our partners.  

The book outlines five distinct ways in which you express and receive love. These love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. If you’d like to learn what your love language is, you can take this quiz. 

The idea is that each person has a preferred way of receiving love, and understanding and expressing love in that way can greatly improve relationships and overall happiness. This also goes for self-love and self care. Knowing how YOU love to be taken care of is the best way to strengthen your relationship with yourself. 

The Five Love Languages 

Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation refer to verbal expressions of love, appreciation and affection. This includes things like compliments, encouragement, and verbal praise or recognition of your efforts and accomplishments. Saying “I love you” or “I appreciate you” goes a long way. For those of us with this love language, hearing words of affirmation from your partner can make you feel deeply loved and valued. 

Acts of Service

People with the acts of service love language would be the opposite of the one above – this is an ‘actions speak louder than words’ love language. This love language refers to the acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that are done for the benefit of the other person. This could be running errands, doing chores or taking care of tasks that your partner needs help with. 

Receiving Gifts

This refers to the physical gifts as a symbol of love and affection. However, keep in mind that it’s not about the monetary value of the gift, but more the thought that went into thinking of that person and picking it out. These people are usually great gift givers themselves, as they appreciate the time, effort and energy that goes into the perfect gift. 

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Quality Time

If your love language is quality time, then nothing says “I love you” more than undivided attention. Scheduling date nights, putting down your phone when they’re talking to you and just being fully present no matter what you are doing together. This can be having meaningful conversations on a walk together or silencing your phones while you eat. 

Physical Touch

Physical touch refers to physical expressions of love and affection. Things like hugging, holding hands, kissing and being intimate with your partner. Physical touch helps them feel loved and appreciated and is a powerful emotional connector. A lack of physical touch in a relationship can leave someone with this love language feeling lonely. 

We’d also like to note that while each person may have a primary love language, they may also appreciate expressions of love in other languages as well. Additionally, love languages can evolve and change over time, depending on your life experiences and relationships. 

Understanding and expressing love in someone’s preferred love language can greatly improve relationships and overall happiness. But, what if you’re not in a relationship? We’re learning more and more about how important it is to spend quality time with yourself and show yourself love. So no matter what your love language is, we want to share some self care ideas for your love language. 

Self Care Ideas Based on Your Love Language 

Words of Affirmation

• Keep an affirmation journal 
• Start a gratitude list (or gratitude journal) 
• Put kind words on sticky notes around your home 
• Write a letter of appreciation to yourself 
• Do guided self-love affirmation meditations
• Use affirmations (and practice saying them in the mirror) 
• Create a ‘self-compliment’ jar
• Screenshot nice things people have said about you and keep them in a folder on your phone that you can refer to 
• Create a self love mantra
• Set reminders on your phone with affirmations or self-care check-ins 
• Tell yourself you love you
• Try self-love or self-discovery journaling 
• Practice positive self-talk
• Work on quieting your ‘inner-critic’ 
• Give yourself compliments 
• Talk kindly to and about yourself 
• Surround yourself with people who vocalize their love 

Acts of Service 

• Clean your bedroom
• Wash your sheets
• Check something off your to-do list
• Declutter your space 
• Fill your car with gas
• Pick up your favorite take out for dinner
• Take a self-care shower
• Do your nails
• Book an appointment you’ve been putting off
• Cook a nourishing meal for yourself 
• Draw a bath
• Volunteer 
• Schedule a self-care day 
• Create a security fund 
• Be creative 
• Workout/move your body
• Do your skincare routine
• Set monthly goals for yourself
• Brainstorm or build your side businesses

Receiving Gifts

• Buy yourself flowers
• Take yourself on a shopping spree
• Treat yourself to a splurge item
• Enroll in a class or course 
• Write a note to yourself and hide it somewhere 
• DIY a project
• Do something you’ve been wanting to do for a while
• Take yourself out for coffee
• Order take-out 
• Buy a new self-care item 
• Invest in yourself (business, hobbies) 
• Book an appointment for yourself (nails, hair, skin, massage, personal training)
• Buy yourself a plant or a candle 
• Book a new class you’ve been wanting to do
• Take yourself on a trip 
• Buy yourself a new book you’ve been wanting to read

Physical Touch 

• Create a skincare routine that makes you feel taken care of 
• Draw a bath
• Dry brush your skin
• Use good smelling lotion
• Try a new body scrub
• Give yourself a scalp massage
• Stretch 
• Give yourself a massage
• Book a massage for yourself 
• Do your nails 
• Schedule a nail appointment (or hair appointment) 
• Do some yoga
• Give yourself a hug
• Pleasure yourself
• Eat something nourishing 
• Foam roll your muscles 
• Exfoliate 
• Ice roll your face
• Book a pedicure

Quality Time 

• Take yourself on a solo walk 
• Schedule a date night with yourself 
• Go to a cafe
• Explore nature
• Take a hike 
• Read a book 
• Watch a TV series by yourself 
• Journal (try this guide!) 
• Take a solo trip
• Cook yourself dinner
• Explore a new city by yourself
• Have a no phone day
• Talk to yourself 
• Meditate 
• Start therapy 
• Enjoy the sunset or sunrise 
• Enjoy a glass of wine
• Try breathing exercises 

You deserve to show yourself love – and you deserve to do it in a way that’s truly meaningful to YOU. Not social media, not what anyone else says, just based on you. If you don’t already know your love language, remember to take this quiz. But at the end of the day, reflect on what makes you feel safe, appreciated and loved and go from there. 

You can use these lists as inspiration or create your own, just make sure that you are taking the time to show yourself love each day, week and month. If taking care of yourself is a challenge, we’ve created a free tool that can help you. 

Our free habit tracker is easy to use and fully customizable which means you can fill it with things you want to do each day, week and month to refill your glass and make sure that you’re taking care of yourself. Download it for free here.